2.11.2015

Seasonal Affective New World Order (SANWO)

I am announcing a grand social experiment! It shall commence each February right around the time we Northerners think to ourselves, "if it snows one more time, I am never leaving the house again, ever," or, "I give up on making myself presentable; I just want to be warm."

So here's the plan: we all buy as many Italian dinner rolls (or your favorite bread) as we can - like the amount you would order if you were hosting a graduation party - and get several bricks of good Kerrygold butter. We dress in stretchy pants and sweatshirts and we amass cuddly blankets. Then we climb onto our couches, remote in hand, and we don't leave until the sun is shining and the grass is showing.

I don't want to go to work, I don't want to prepare meals, I don't want to talk to people unless it's to complain about the weather. I want the pretty people on the TV to entertain me and I want to consume a metric ton of bread and butter and I want naps and limited interaction with three dimensional humans and/or donning of cold weather gear and battling of the elements. This, my friends, is the SANWO.

If you would like to eschew leaving your house until spring and join me on my quest for simple carbohydrates, a sedentary lifestyle, and really good butter, you don't have to interact with me in any way! Just take a leave of absence from work, don thy pants of yoga, and snuggle up. It's what all the cool kids are doing. This month's SANWO newsletter will cover the very best rolls and European butter and have a guide to daytime's most mindless TV. 

Engaging in the experiment with your mate is optional, but be advised that fellow humans CAN provide warmth and ultimate snuggling comfort, if they agree to limit conversation. But they may also eat your rolls and butter. Be advised. 

See you in the spring!

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